How to avoid adult dating scams
Most adult dating scams follow a handful of scripts. Once you know them, they're much easier to spot. Here are the common ones, the warning signs and what to do if you've already engaged.
The "verify yourself" link
A match you've barely spoken to asks you to "verify" that you're real or not law enforcement, by signing up on another site and entering a card. That site is usually a paid subscription, and the "match" earns from your signup or simply takes your card details. A genuine person doesn't need you to pay a third-party site to prove anything. Never enter card details on a site a match sends you to.
Money requests
The person is warm, attentive and messages every day, then there's a problem: a medical bill, a travel ticket, a frozen account, an "investment opportunity". The FTC says romance scammers make excuses for not meeting in person, eventually ask for money, and tell you how to pay in ways that are hard to reverse, like wire transfers, gift cards, payment apps or cryptocurrency.
Fake profiles and bots
Some sites, and some scammers, fill inboxes with fake profiles to push you into paying for messaging. Warning signs:
- Lots of messages within minutes of creating an empty profile.
- Replies that don't respond to what you actually wrote.
- Every conversation steering towards a paid upgrade, another site or a link.
- Photos that look professional or appear elsewhere under another name. A reverse image search helps here.
Our guide to spotting fake profiles walks through the warning signs and a quick check you can run on any match.
Sextortion
Someone builds trust quickly, persuades you to share intimate images or appear on camera, then threatens to send the images to your friends, family or employer unless you pay. The FBI advises that you:
- don't pay and don't send more images (paying rarely ends it),
- save the messages and the profile details,
- block and report the account on the platform, and
- report it to law enforcement, or to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI.
Adults can use StopNCII.org to help prevent intimate images being shared on participating platforms. Be wary of paid "removal services" that contact you; the FBI warns these can be another scam.
Moving you off the platform
Scammers want you on a private messaging app as fast as possible, where the dating site's moderation can't see them. It's fine to move over once you trust someone. It's a warning sign when they push for it in the first few messages.
Fake support and "account suspended" messages
Emails or messages claiming your account will be closed or charged unless you click a link and confirm your card are a standard phishing trick. Log in to the site directly rather than through the link.
If you've been scammed
- Stop all contact and don't send any more money.
- Contact your bank or card issuer straight away. A card payment can often be disputed; wire, gift card and crypto payments are much harder to recover.
- Report the profile on the dating site.
- Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI's IC3 (US).
- Talk to someone you trust. Scammers count on embarrassment to keep people quiet.
Sources: FTC: Why can't that new love interest meet in person? (Feb 2026); FBI: Sextortion; StopNCII.org. The verification-link, bot and phishing sections are general guidance.