Meeting someone from a hookup site: a safety checklist

By the Nightcap Reviews team · Updated

Most meetups are uneventful in the best way. A few habits make the rare bad one far less likely, and none of them need to kill the mood.

Before you agree to meet

  • Video call first, even briefly. It confirms they're the person in the photos and that they're real.
  • Reverse-image search a photo or two. Our fake-profile guide explains how.
  • Keep chatting on the site until you're comfortable. Its block and report tools only work there.
  • Use a second number (a free calling app number, for example) rather than your main one at first.
  • Agree on expectations in plain words: what you're both looking for, and what you're not.
  • Walk away from anyone who asks for money, a deposit or "verification" before meeting. That's a scam.

Choosing the place

  • Meet first somewhere public and busy, like a bar or café, even if you plan to go somewhere private afterwards.
  • Get there and leave under your own steam. Don't rely on them for a lift.
  • Avoid giving your home address until you've met and feel sure.

Tell someone

  1. Send a trusted friend the person's profile name, a photo, where you're going and when.
  2. Share your live location from your phone for the evening.
  3. Agree a check-in time and a code word that means "call me with an excuse".

On the night

  • Keep your phone charged and with you.
  • Watch your drink and pace yourself. Don't leave it unattended.
  • Trust your gut. You can leave at any point, for any reason, without explaining.
  • Consent is ongoing. Either of you can change your mind at any time, and "maybe" isn't yes.
  • Bring your own protection and use it.

Privacy

  • Don't let anyone photograph or record you without your clear agreement.
  • Be careful with photos sent before or after meeting. Keep your face and identifying details out of anything intimate.
  • Our hookup app privacy guide covers location settings and photo privacy in detail.

If something goes wrong

  • If you're in danger, call your local emergency number (911 in the US).
  • Report the person to the dating site so they can act on the account.
  • Sexual assault support is available. In the US, RAINN's hotline is 800-656-4673 or rainn.org. Other countries have similar services.