Safest hookup and dating apps: a privacy guide
The "safest" app isn't just about which app you choose. Your settings and habits matter as much as the app's own features. Here's what to look for and how to set things up so you stay in control.
AI companion apps we link to
What we look for, and where these stand. These are AI chat services, not dating apps: you talk to AI characters, not real people, and the privacy advice below about what you share still applies. We favour sites that show prices and renewal terms before checkout, have an online way to cancel, let you delete your account and data, and explain clearly what happens to your chats. The sites below are affiliate links we've chosen to list, but we haven't finished our full hands-on review of them yet, so there are no scores or ratings here. Check pricing, renewal and cancellation terms yourself before you pay, using the checklist on this page.
Girlfriend GPT
An AI companion chat service for adults 18+: you chat with AI characters, not real people. It offers paid upgrades, so check pricing and cancellation terms, and remember that what you type is stored by the service.
- Best for
- Adults curious about AI companion chat
- Pricing
- Paid upgrades. Check current pricing, renewal and cancellation terms before you buy.
Secrets.ai
An AI companion chat service for adults 18+ where you talk to AI characters, not real people. It has paid upgrades, so read the pricing, renewal and privacy terms first.
- Best for
- Adults curious about AI companion chat
- Pricing
- Paid upgrades. Check current pricing, renewal and cancellation terms before you buy.
For pricing, refunds and data retention, see our AI companion apps guide and our reviews of Girlfriend GPT and Secrets.ai.
What makes an app safer
- Profile verification, such as a selfie check, so fake profiles are harder to create.
- Block and report tools that are easy to find, and visible moderation.
- Approximate location, so the app shows a distance range rather than your exact position.
- Photo controls, such as private albums you choose to unlock for specific people.
- Real account deletion that removes your profile and data, not just hides it.
- Discreet app options, like an app lock or PIN.
A private setup in ten minutes
- Use a separate email address just for dating apps.
- Pick a username that doesn't include your real name, birth year or employer.
- Use photos that aren't on your social media. Anyone can run a reverse image search on a profile photo and find your other accounts.
- Don't link your social accounts to the app, and don't allow it to read your contacts.
- Check location permissions. Allow location only while the app is in use, and use any "hide distance" option.
- Turn on the app's PIN or lock if it has one, and check what notifications show on your lock screen.
- Keep your phone number private until you trust someone. Chat in the app first.
Meeting someone safely
- Video call first. Someone who always has an excuse not to is a warning sign.
- Meet somewhere public for the first time, and arrange your own way there and back.
- Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to check in.
- Keep control of your drink and your phone.
- Talk about boundaries and protection before things get physical. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
Sharing intimate images
Anything you send can be saved and shared, even on apps that promise disappearing messages. If you do share, leave out your face, tattoos and anything in the background that identifies you or where you live.
If someone threatens to share your images unless you pay, the FBI advises not paying, not sending more, saving the messages, blocking and reporting the account, and reporting it to law enforcement. Adults can use StopNCII.org to help stop intimate images being shared on participating platforms.
If something goes wrong
- Report the profile in the app and block it.
- Save screenshots of the profile and messages before they disappear.
- Report fraud to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov (US) or to the FBI's IC3.
- If you're in danger, contact local emergency services.
Sources: FBI: Sextortion; StopNCII.org. Everything else on this page is general guidance.